Teen Dating

Dating is the time when we are trying to figure out what type of person we are attracted to, what qualities we would like for a long-term relationship and whether or not the person we are attracted to will be a match for us in the long-run. With each dating experience we are able to figure out what type of person it is with whom we want to spend our lives. Spending time with the person we are dating should be easy, fun, and carefree. It isn’t supposed to be hard, stressful, or emotionally draining.

Love is about respect, not violence. Yet research shows;

• 1 in 3 relationships involve dating violence.
• 40% of teenagers know someone who is being abused
• of 500 women surveyed between the ages of 15-24, 60% were currently in an abusive relationship.

Dating violence occurs when one partner in a relationship threatens or performs acts of violence toward the other. It occurs in all kinds of relationships – heterosexual and same-sex, and takes the form of physical, sexual, financial, and psychological abuse.

Dating violence happens because the abuser wants control. Young men often see being in charge as masculine. They believe they have the right to their demands while their victims often confuse their controlling acts with love explaining, “He does it because he loves me.”

If you suspect a friend is in an abusive relationship, talk to them nonjudgmentally. Assure them they’re not responsible or to blame. Tell them they should never be afraid of their partner and that fear never translates into love. Finally, encourage your friend to get out of this relationship, and let them know, people will help!

Know that you have the right to:

• Ask for a date
• Refuse a date
• Suggest activities
• Refuse any activities, even if your date is excited about them
• Have your own feelings and be able to express them
• Say, “I think my friend is wrong and his actions are inappropriate”
• Tell someone not to interrupt you
• Have your limits and values respected
• Tell your partner when you need affection
• Refuse affection
• Be heard
• Refuse to lend money
• Refuse sex any time, for any reason
• Have friends and space aside from your partner

You have the Responsibility to:

• Determine your limits and values
• Respect the limits of others.
• Communicate clearly and honestly
• Not violate the limits of others
• Ask for help when you need it
• Be considerate
• Check your actions and decisions to determine whether they are good or bad for you
• Set high goals for yourself.

In addition:

• Let friends or family know when you are afraid or need help
• When you go out, say where you are going and when you will be back
• In an emergency, call 911 or your local police department
• Memorize important contact phone numbers and places to go in an emergency
• Keep spare change, calling cards, or a cell phone handy for immediate access
• Go out in a group or with other couples
• Have money available for transportation if you need to take a taxi, bus, or subway to escape

If you or a friend need help contact The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474
Calls are ANONYMOUS!

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